Anger Management

As in, "What's something I need to spend more time and energy on?"

I find myself irrationally angry with my husband the better part of the time. In general, it's not really his fault; I mean, he can be frustrating as all hell (as can I, so he certainly doesn't have that particular problem cornered), but I think the problems lie more with me and my general state of mind. I'm always feeling torn between things: work (or lack thereof)/home, self/family, home country/overseas (I've lived, in total, 16 of my 44 years outside this country, many of which were while I was growing up). I feel so transitional, and that's a state I really loathe. The SAHM thing isn't coming naturally to me, and, truth be told, I've never, ever been very comfortable with small children. I love them when they're old enough to talk with, but the very little ones who have no self control whatsoever are such a challenge.

Which isn't to say I don't wish I were more home-oriented and domestic. God knows I'm a sucker for all things Martha Stewart; her particular brand of perfectionism really appeals to the my inner OCD self. But my interest in keeping a homey, cosy household tends to begin and end with pretty pictures in books or online. I'd like to say it's just because I'm, you know, all transitional and stuff and am having a hard time committing to any one course of action, but I think that it's probably more that I'm just not very domestic.