I can't believe it's already July. Ever since I finished my dissertation and defended, the months have been whizzing by.
I'm still wandering around in a fog, trying to figure out what to do next. I've had a stumble or two along the way; in a fit of misdirected energy, I sent out a call for volunteer work to do. One person responded that they had a large document that needed some attention, and I enthusiastically declared my willingness to take it on. A month later, it turns out that it's a massive undertaking, that it's dredging up all kinds of collateral issues relating to procrastination, etc., and that taking care of the kids is just eating up many of my mental resources.
As a result, I emailed the guy a couple of days ago to explain where things stood, offering to complete it sometime in the fall if he can hold out that long. I haven't heard back from him, which leads me to believe I've irrevocably pissed him off. Fair enough; I hate offering to do things and then reneging on my commitments, and he has a right to be irritated. But I made a mistake in thinking I could handle it - I can do the work itself, but I just don't have the time and energy reserves to make it happen. I'd just as soon not string him along indefinitely instead, so being upfront about what was happening seemed to be the right thing to do.
In general, I've been living in a bit of an academic black hole, lately. It's making me wonder if the universe isn't telling me to get out, now.
